Aspec + what is it?
Disclaimer: This article was originally meant to explain the Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, which always begins the Sunday after Valentine's Day. But since the author of this article is a bit clumsy, here are some explanations on asexuality and aromanticism almost a month late.
Sexual orientation vs. romantic or affectional orientation
You've probably already heard of of sexual orientation. This term is generally used to describe a person's emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction. People can be attracted to people of their own gender (homosexuality), to another genre (heterosexuality), to multiple genres (bi-, poly-, or pansexuality), or they may not even experience sexual attraction at all (asexuality).
But this is only one side of the coin. There are people for whom sexual attraction doesn't match emotional or romantic attraction. With the terms romantic orientation or affective or romance It refers to the sex or gender with which a person is likely to have a romantic relationship—but not necessarily sexual!—or fall in love. As with sexual orientation, people can identify as homoromantic, heteroromantic, bi-, poly-, pan-romantic, or rather aromantic. The practice of viewing sexual and romantic attraction separately is also called Split Attraction Model (SAM).
Alloromantic/Allosexual vs. Aromantic/Asexual
Romantic and sexual attraction is considered one spectrum. That is, it is not a fixed thing, but can vary over time and depending on circumstances.
With the term alloromantic It identifies a person who experiences romantic attraction. The term aromantic Instead, it identifies a person who doesn't feel romantic attraction or can't imagine feeling it. The same goes for sexual orientation: A person allosexual a person experiences sexual attraction asexual Instead, he or she does not experience sexual attraction. A person who is both aromantic and asexual is commonly called aroace. In English, asexual people have given themselves the nickname ace, like the ace of cards. It's also important to note that not all aromantic people are asexual, and vice versa.
However, these are the two extremes of the spectrum. In between, there is a vast grey area, where people who identify with it can experience romantic or sexual attraction under certain conditions (greyromanticism or grey romantic/grey sexual).
For example, people demi They feel attraction only towards people with whom they have formed a deep emotional bond, while in people abro the degree of attraction can vary over time.
Given how vast the gray area is, there are a lot of new terms emerging. These microlabels They are often coined and used on the Internet and only by people who identify with them. Here You can find a guide to the most common microlabels.
Myths to dispel
Aromanticism and asexuality are little known and discussed. Therefore, it's no wonder that a host of myths and false beliefs have arisen around them, such as:
- Aromantic people do not feel any kind of affection.
This is probably the biggest and most stigmatizing myth surrounding aromanticism. And it's absolutely wrong. Aromantic people aren't robots. They feel affection for family, friends, pets, etc. They just don't feel romantic affection.
- It's just a phase.
No, it's not. It never is. And this applies to all sexual and romantic orientations. It's true that orientations—as already mentioned—are a spectrum and can therefore change over time. But it's equally true that many people discover their orientation at a young age and it stays the same. So, a word of advice: If someone tells you they're asexual/aromantic/straight/bi/poly/demi/whatever, accept it and refrain from commenting. Because unless you're romantically or sexually interested in this person, it doesn't concern you.
- Asexual/aromantic people just haven't found the right person yet.
Many aspec+ people have had and experimented with romantic or sexual relationships and realized they simply weren't for them. For the rest: see the advice above.
- Aspec+ people don't want to be in relationships.
Here too, it must be said that aspec+ people are not robots. They need emotional support and intimacy, like the rest of us. It's just that for them, intimacy can take on different forms and meanings than sex or a classic romantic relationship.
- Asexual people don't have sex.
This is a somewhat complicated myth to debunk. There are ace people who don't have sex, or who are even repulsed by the idea of having sex. But there are also ace people who do. Some ace people have a very limited sexual desire or don't enjoy sexual pleasure at all. Other ace people, on the other hand, have little sex, but enjoy it very much. The same goes for aromantic people: there are those who don't have sex, those who do it only under certain conditions, and those who do and enjoy it.
Amatonormativity and Erasure
With the term amatonormativity It refers to the social preconception that everyone needs a romantic relationship to feel good and that romantic relationships are worth more and more important than platonic relationships. If you're interested in the topic and want to learn more, you can find a nice, clear, and entertaining explanation in episode "103 – Who do you love more?" FAQ the Poly Podcast.
What's important to us, however, is this: amatonormativity dictates that every person must experience romantic and sexual attraction and therefore denies the existence of aspec+ people. This denial is also called erasure (cancellation). Erasure does not only concern aspec+ people – for example, there are also bi erasure and the trans erasure, That is, the erasure of bisexual and trans people. But erasure has enormous consequences: Aspec+ people are practically invisible, both in society and in the media.
And there is even worse than erasure: Aromantic and asexual people are also victims of discrimination, prejudice and hatred, that is, the so-called aromaphobia or arophobia or aphobia. It seems incredible, but it is True.
Asexuality and aromanticism in the media
Due to a(ro)phobia and erasure, people belonging to the aromantic and asexual spectrums are not very present in the media and are often poorly represented. For example, there is an episode of Dr. House in which House meets a couple of asexual people and repeatedly argues that asexuality doesn't exist and there must be something else underneath.
But there are also positive representations of aspec+ people. For those who love reading, for example, there is The AroAce Database, which collects aromantic and asexual characters in books. For other types of media, see here And here.
Furthermore, Buzzfeed He collected 25 testimonials from openly asexual celebrities. And recently in Italy, the writer and transgender activist Majid Capovani he declared himself aromantic.
Invitation: Event with Letter A Network
Thank you for reading this article. If you'd like to learn more about asexuality and aromanticism, we invite you to our meeting with Letter A – Network for training and awareness on asexuality and aromanticism. We look forward to seeing you on Sunday, March 27, from 2:00 PM to 3:30 PM at Centaurus Arcigay's Qulture office. Click here to find out more about the event.
The article Aspec+ comes from Centaurus Alto Adige Südtirol ODV.
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